Today I would’ve been married 25 years – A Silver Anniversary nogal…
That’s IF I had married him on the planned day: 1 July 1985.
That’s IF he hadn’t gone and left me a few months earlier… ok, so at least I’m sure of one thing: he didn’t leave me out of his own free will. Then again, being the self-confessed Christian I am, I, in a way, believe that he, being a self-confessed Christian too, probably didn’t leave grudgingly either – ‘cause I truly believe that when God calls you home – you go eagerly – we all know that that is what Christians aspire to afterall… Right? Right?!?!
Anyways, believing in the almost unbelievable – that a man would have put up with me for that long… or maybe that I would have the patience and hope and determination to keep him that long, I would have celebrated today as a very very special day. I still do in a weird and surreal way. But to share that with the average human being, would only land me on their list of the most peculiar person they know.
Talking about lists: It was my first (and the only) wedding I ever really planned. Months in advance. Excited. Blushing. Blissful. Lists and lists (and lists of lists) – I only just realized why I so HATE lists… they mean nothing when fate happens to show up. Nothing at all. Since then I have never made lists again – I even abhor the idea of a grocery shopping list…
The most ironic memory of my planned wedding – leaving me with yet another resolution for years to come: to make sure you know and care enough about your guests and they about you, that you actually want them to attend. See, one guest contacted me late on the afternoon of the 1st of July, wanting to know whether they were at the right church… ‘cause it didn’t seem so… :roll: Ja, jong…
Why am I sharing this? Because all three subjects coincidently arose at coffee break today. One colleague happens to celebrate her silver anniversary tomorrow. And though I toasted her cheerfully, I had a lump the size of a duck egg to swallow. Another co-worker was going on and on about her to-do’s for the next few days, starting off with a trip to Checkers, jotting down 4 (I kid you not, FOUR) lists (including a guest list for her birthday party) simultaneously!!! And then my daughter, who has just dropped by, was talking about her girlfriend’s wedding plans and how many guests they were inviting and what the party would cost them per head.
And now that this day is coming to an end – I suddenly feel this once bubbly, carefree, dreamy-eyed 20-something year-old, who’s usually in need of consolation and tlc, knocking inside, unexpectedly saying: “Don’t you think it’s time??“.
She might be right… this time… it’s time.
Ouch Beeps. Hugs vir jou en ‘n engel wat vir jou die drukkie bring.
Te veel beblanning oorskadu gewoonlik dit wat pret moet wees.
It is only time when you alone feel it is. (((BB)))
Ai, Beebs. Dis presies hoekom ek vanaand my RSS feeds terugsit. Ek ken nie almal se addies uit my kop nie. En nou’t ek hierdie ene gemis…
Dis ‘n bittersoet possie. Dankie dat jy dit gedeel het.
Music helps the soul
to seize its lost control
of sense till light shows abandoned goals
and then when sorrow press
unlocks its tenderness
to mend and end
Life’s long enduring stress
Hou aan sing.
Liewe bb, so jammer! Ons het amper op dieselfde dag getrou! 29 junie 1985, net 2 dae verskil
‘n Voorspoedige, wonderlike Nuwe Jaar vir jou! ♥♥ xxx