It’s not ‘just’ a Skull…

Vacant eyes that cannot see

That which was of worth to me.

The tomb that housed my intellect

(It was still there, last time I checked 😉 )

My ‘After’ look long after pension –

A paperweight of odd dimension;

My silent prompt, that underneath,

We’re all just really bone and teeth.


In life we force a friendly face –

A smile which oft’ seems out of place.

Though death proves even in despair

That neither skin nor nail nor hair

Will outlive this fantastic smile,

Which renders any skull worthwhile.

Though we may face the face of death

Before we breathe our final breath

Skulls serve as silent souvenir

Lest we forget: we once were here.


Allow me to introduce to you: AL – all the way from Bali 😉

Thank you for the newest addition to my Skull collection, Una!

He’s a beaut… and he knows it 😀


Kombuis Tee – Kitchen Tea

For Gift Riddle Rhymes – Vir Geskenk Raaisel Rympies :

click on the picture below ↓↓↓↓↓


Bewoording vir Kombuistee Uitnodigings :

kliek op die prentjie hieronder ↓↓↓↓↓



Happiness is Wholeness… It is Well with my Soul

Are you happy?  Or do you at least know happiness?

We have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.

Happiness is NOT attained through self-gratification, but through one thing and one thing only: Fidelity. To the Self.

Happiness is when:

All you think,  feel, say and do

is in perfect harmony.


So, let’s say you are three parts. One part Body. One part Soul. One part Spirit.

The Body touches the material world through its senses: Sight, Smell, Hearing, Taste and Touch as well as Communication and Physical Needs or Desires.

The Gates to the Soul are Imagination, Consciousness, Mind, Will, Reason, the Affections or Emotions  (Love, Hate etc), Memory and last but not least the Self (Ego).

The Spirit receives impressions of outward senses and/or material things through or via the soul. The faculties of the Spirit are mainly Conscience, Fellowship, Intuition as well as Faith & Hope. There are quite a few characteristics that can reveal a person’s spirit’s state or condition. Enthusiasm is definitely one of them. Positivity, Humility, Patience and Serenity are also part of these.


If you give each of them the required attention, spend the correct amount of time and energy on them and regard them important, each in their own unique way – you will probably be rewarded with what we term general happiness – or as I call it : ‘Wholeness’.

You do know when one of them is sick, right? Have you ever thought that it may be possible, that the part that is complaining, is the part that you may have neglected or deprived of your attention?

And in doing that – the other two parts may perhaps ‘stand up and fight’ so to speak. Their motto : “One for all and all for one” .

So, whichever the ailing one may be and whoever the other two are – they’ll be scrambling around trying to find a way and means to make the hurting one feel better.

If YOU don’t know or are not aware of which one is in dire need of your attention and perhaps intervention and don’t attend to it – you might misunderstand the other two’s misinterpreted and maybe even foolish and erratic responses and actions – which focuses on one thing only – survival of the Whole.

Problem is: your body knows only to be a Body. Your Soul how to be a Soul and your Spirit (hopefully) knows how to be a Spirit.

So when your heart is hurting, your body might want to try to find a hug (or physical attention of any kind) because it knows (or rather it thinks it knows) what helps an aching heart. Your body may just have one problem though:

It may not be able to distinguish between ‘good quality suppliers’ – and it may therefor just grab hold of the first best pair of arms available to get that hug… 😕

In the meantime your soul (mind) is scurrying around, knowing that your wounded heart finds comfort in words and attention – in hearing promises and sharing feel-good whispers of hope. What it doesn’t realize is that when the heart is hurting, more often than not, its communication skills are lacking. It can’t provide the right transfusion from the right donor – it doesn’t know your heart’s language – it doesn’t know why the heart’s acting as it is, but it knows that your heart is normally quite happy and content with that which it feeds it… So, it looks around quickly, finds something it deems mutually acceptable to itself and its unit parts, says something thoughtless, gets what it thinks is the right kind of attention and believes it has succeeded in comforting the heart.

Well, you get it? Sort of… right?

Until… until the heart, which has been fed impulsive and maybe even reckless miscalculated dosages of remedy, realizes that, through its weakness, it has allowed ingestion of a mixture of near-lethal levels of tonics the other two parts have supplied in their despair to salvage the unit.

And sadly, so often those ‘tonics’ contain ingredients of other peoples’ units or a combination thereof. Even worse, sometimes those ingredients just don’t provide the right essentials and in a few cases prove to be totally incompatible with the unit in despair.

What happens next?

Well, the heart, which for a moment seemed to get better even almost miraculously healed, suddenly rebels, because although the ‘cure’, which appeared to work for a while, has started taking control and completely annihilating the initial mere deficiency of the one element that had always been the reason for the heart’s original well-being.

Are you confused now? Not (yet)? Well, I am… sort of… :mrgreen:

What I know is this:

When your heart feels neglected – say so! ASAP! When your heart feels unloved. Tell the right person immediately! When it feels afraid – speak up. When it’s alone, sad, angry, pitiful – listen to it and act accordingly. Make informed decisions about how to take positive action to attend to it. KNOW what’s involved. KNOW what your heart needs. KNOW how to comfort it and how to help it heal. KNOW that if it’s not good for your heart, it’s not good enough – whatever it is. Your heart does not need cheap medicine; it does not deserve inferior treatment and it certainly does not want a quick-fix arranged by the other two inmates of You – the two that don’t know how to be a heart.

DO NOT sit back and allow your mind or body to act as individual entities to try and handle the problem. They DON’T know how! They only know the NOW. The moment. They only respond to survival instinct – of themselves. That is why they attend (however stupidly) to another’s aches and pains. Their mere existence depends on it, afterall.

YOU are the only one who understands the WHOLE. You set the pace. You make the rules. You know what makes you sad (heart) 😦 , sick (body) and what drives you crazy (mind). 😉

Start taking responsibility for each of them.

Become the dependable force in the WHOLE of You. Suggest and lead and coax and force and even threaten them if need be. Know their strengths and acknowledge their weaknesses, but DON’T ignore their cries for help and DON’T EVER leave them unguarded and thus defenceless. They WILL each try to survive on their own – and they will fail miserably. They’ll do their best to support each other, cluelessly dashing about for quick fixes, succeeding only in total disarray, misunderstanding and ultimate malfunction.

Some people’s wholeness has been suffering  for years, on account of one of their entity’s hurt. But as the other two have desperately tried anything and everything, they too have started ailing in their exhaustive attempts to heal the other.

Has it ever occurred to you that one seemingly specific (health or emotional) problem you experience right now, today, MAY have been set off by an overworked and exhausted entity, which tried to help the other in a moment of crisis and has eventually been drained of all its fullness by its own futile efforts?

So, you may have lost a puppy 10 years ago, never mourned the loss, your body grabs a cigarette (it’s seems it helps Mommy with her stress…) , it starts reading depressing poetry (after you got one of the site’s addresses on a sympathy card at the vet’s), follows self-destructive like-minded posts on the internet or the pages of so-called Facebook ‘friends’  – and the head (soul) reads it and thinks it knows “that’s how the heart must feel”!! … and all of a sudden you can’t focus anymore – lost your 20/20 vision from hours and hours worth of Google and you have spasms in your shoulders and neck, which in turn causes sleeplessness and thus depression…

Which makes you eat less. Or more.

Sleep less. Or more.

You have no energy.

You barely make it through the day.

Your hair becomes dull and your nails brittle.

You don’t care what your heels look like – although if you had looked you would have probably been able to diagnose the early symptoms of thyroid problems…

ALL because your puppy died 20 years ago and dad said:

“Oh Gee!! It was just a puppy! I’ll get you another one tomorrow, if you promise to stop crying immediately!”.

And you stopped crying.

But he never got you another one.

And your Soul remembers that crying doesn’t get you anywhere or anything and decided that men can’t be trusted to fix things that make us want to cry – they just promise to – in order to make us stop crying. Which is a story for another day…

How much do you depend on someone else to make and KEEP you happy? Or Healthy?

How much do your thoughts and words and actions IN UNISON reflect the same priorities and the same steadfast values?

Are you able to keep harmony between your heart (spirit) and mind (soul) and body?

Do you understand that the one who is the meekest, the one who asks the least, is the one that should be attended to the most? We have to start calling our Bodies and Souls to attention, get them to create a ‘safe place’ where our Spirit can dwell in and then ensure our Spirit is fed according to our spiritual needs and our spirit’s design.

NOT the other way around. Yes, the body is dependent, much more so than the other parts, on you for survival and general health. Also, the Body is selfish and has no regard for mindful or spiritual things. It’s only function is to survive and to carry the Soul for the duration of same Soul’s purposes (and perhaps even tests) on Earth. If the Soul depends purely on the Body for survival, it sadly won’t make it out alive. If it depends on the Spirit (as it should), it can’t but triumph.

Do You and your Whole have a common goal? And do all your parts understand their roles and work toward that goal or purpose?

Does your Body KNOW that, although its condition IS important, because your time on earth depends on it, it really is only a vessel for your Soul and that the state of your Soul really depends on the fullness of your Spirit, and if it does not know or understand this yet, maybe it’s time to teach it differently?



BB’s Baby Blog – Frame a Name

To welcome the Arrival of a Baby,

a Christening or Birthday

this makes a wonderful

one-of-a-kind personalized gift…

Click ON the Picture (Link) below



Ruben Voorbeeld



My Valentyn

Ek’t rondgesoek en oraloor

Gespook, gekrap… dit half verloor

Ek’t her en derwaarts, heen en weer

Gewonder wat ek moet begeer

Ek’t oor en oor getob, gevra:

Wat wil jy hê?  ’n Nuwe (bloedrooi) bra?

Sjokolade in ’n pienk kardoes?

Of dalk ’n speelding van www . xxxwoes ?

’n Hartjieraam vir daai nuwe portret

Waarop jy jouself ge-photoshop het?

’n Regte egte blinkleer paar stewels?

Of dalk ’n stelletjie cubic knewels?

Ek weet, ek weet, dis nié hoe dit werk…

Maar Valentyn maak my gewoonlik ’n effe beserk

Net oor ‘hy’ glo dat ek al die dae in die jaar

Tog reeds bewys van sy (ewige) liefde ervaar

En my altyd bederf, sonder dag of okkasie

(Kersfees is hy “Santa” – en Paasfees my hasie 😀 )

Hy nou gladnie verstaan dat ek kan verwag

dat hy my kaalg@t by die huis moet inwag

Met ’n pyl en boog en ’n bossie rooi rose

Want hy reken mans is seker die grootste klomp eeeehhhhmmm d….

Om te dink dat 2 dosyn blomme en ’n boks sjokolade

’n Man sal red uit sy Manwees bravade…

Dus sal veertien Februarie steeds kom en gaan

En die helde sal sneuwel – nie één sal bly staan

En ek’t nie verniet gewik en geweeg

Hoe om Valentyns met SY kredietkaart te pleeg.



Beyond the Blue

The irony was what hit me first. The irony of countless facebook status updates during the past few weeks, that read something like this: “Suicide Prevention Week…” – and added to that, a whole paragraph or two of blah-blah’s about being a caring human being, who will support and is available apparently 24/7 to anyone suffering from depression and / or contemplating suicide. It ends with  – DO NOT share this status, but copy and paste it; as well as putting every FB-friend on a guilt-trip if they didn’t bullying them into believing they are heartless human beings should they decide not to post this to their status bar.
Here’s why:
Not one single human being; not one Facebook friend; not one sharer or copy-and-paster; – NO-ONE saw this coming.
Oh, in hindsight, we can all ‘see’ the signs. Afterwards we can all pinpoint the countless posts referring to, or at least broaching the subject albeit showing the symptoms of joy de vivre literally flowing from one previously seemingly cheerful and lively human soul.
It left me shocked, at the very least; and that’s putting it mildly. Not one? No-One? Not even one single friend (let’s suppose that of all our ‘real’ friends registered to Facebook are actually our Facebook friends too and they account for probably between 25 & 50% of your “friends’ list”, which include, parents, siblings as well as other close family, it is quite a shocker isn’t it?)
To think that this person felt that she had absolutely no-one to confide in. Or to call. Or to ask. Or to tell. And to think that no-one saw any signs (except in hindsight)… when we hear from the close friends and family : “Mind you, she did become withdrawn… She didn’t eat/sleep well lately… She didn’t go out much anymore… She declined all invites. She hasn’t been her usual self for a few months.”.
I’m addressing this subject, because I lost a friend to the dreary darkest blues beyond blue, many years ago. We’d had a date the previous day. Yes, she was in a sad place in her life at the time. Yes, I knew that she needed to talk and what some of her issues were. Yes, I lent an ear; pep-talked again (as so many times before); promised my support (and certainly meant it); told her I loved her (like I do with all and any of my friends who are comfortable enough to allow me to do so.)
We hugged. Again, in hindsight, I believe she hugged me just a little bit tighter, a little bit longer the day we said our last goodbye.
Less than 24 hours later she had succumbed to the blue and had taken the step of ending her pain. Left behind were loud screams of “Ag, NO!” and “Why?” and afterwards many people (including me) who were left silently questioning their influence or meaning (if any)  on her life and how many of us may have  ‘aided’ her (unconsciously) to the same towel, she had just thrown in. By not being able or in a position to lift her up.
The survivors of a suicide never stop questioning their impact or lack thereof on the victim.
But wait!, you say… Who is (are) the victim(s)?
And not at all minimizing the pain and agony felt by the person behind the suicide, the pain and distress the ones left behind go through, is immeasurable and infinite.
The sad part is, that the victims that are left behind, doubting their credibility. As friends. As parents. As partners. As humans.
And life stretches out infinitely in front of the other victims of suicide – the ones left behind. Questioning. Exhausting every single possible “What if I?” “Maybe I could have” “I should have”…
Who am I to criticize a suicide? Then again, who am I NOT to criticize a suicide when it affects me to my innermost core?
When you kill, whether it is someone else or yourself, you don’t only kill one person. You don’t merely and only kill yourself by suicide. You kill whole families and relationships and circles of trust. You kill principles and integrity and self-worth. And spirit.
And when you’ve crossed the rainbow bridge or entered the realm of peace you so desired, the path behind you is strewn with the shadows of dead spirits you have destroyed in the process of ending your own pain.
Having said that – I am so tired of clichés, though :
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”, is a response from people who have absolutely no idea if the problem that drove a person to attempt or succeed at suicide was temporary or not. Obviously if the problem didn’t at least seem permanent, no-one would see suicide as the only answer.


 So, here’s me… left with no answers. Again. With a whole lot of questions. Again. Without hope of ever determining whether I could have, should have, would have…. if only I were approached by the sufferer.
Then again, would I, in all honesty, really believe the sufferer , IF I were approached with a direct forewarning of their plan? And what would or could I do, to prevent such? Well-meaning folk like me are usually ill-equipped in successfully performing any kind of therapy – and a sufferer of the blues beyond blue is usually under no illusion as to who, if anybody, can save them from their wretched existence, financial burden, poisonous relationship, or just ‘plain old’ (with all due respect) dreadful depression.
See, not one suicide I am personally aware of, was ever preceded by a threat of such. And each and every successful (oh the irony!) suicide, I have ever dealt with, has caught me unawares and reeling in shock – sometimes years later… still searching for answers and truths.


Beyond the deep dark bitter blue

Where lie hides everything that’s true

Where sunlight dare not shine too bright

And shadows steal last hope of sight.

Beyond the blue there lies a dream

Which beckons in a silent scream

Which pledges pure and perfect peace

 Where pain and fear of failure cease.

Beyond the blue where shy souls hide

Beyond the blue where tears are dried

You’ll find souls searching for their due

May yours find peace – Beyond the blue.



Iemand Stop Die Aarde!

Iemand Stop Die Aarde!

March 2017
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